Not Now, Natalie.

Perhaps the world's second worst crime is boredom. The first is being a bore.




How I almost signed over my entire life to Applebee’s for a gift card of an indeterminate amount.

Also their last tweet. Who do they think I am? I went to COLLEGE.

This is NUTS. 

What kind of scam is Applebee’s running, y’all?! There’s something rotten in the usually otherwise delicious Brew Pub Pretzels & Beer Cheese Dip.

What I’ve been up to today.


  • nice friend person: hey, how've you been?
  • me: capitalism is crushing me. i am barely surviving. i am full of toxic resentment. i want revenge.

(Source: vinesnow, via ozzyosborntodie)